So, it’s been a couple of months since I posted anything on the site and the reason for that is because I’ve not had any motivation to go through the motions that come with writing about this club. Two other big reasons are that it’s not been worth it financially to post as much as I was and I’ve been teaching more at a school that I’ve really grown to enjoy working at. So something had to give…
Now, that said, in the free moments I’ve had since the fire in my belly died down I’ve taken to this new ChatGPT fad going around and what I’ve found is something I’d like to share with you.
Basically, I’ve created a prompt on ChatGPT that will rewrite what I want in a specific style or voice that I find extremely hilarious and until I can’t use that profile anymore, I want to use it to spice up some of the blogs and articles that are being posted in the Oilogosphere. I don’t know how often I’m going to get around to it, but if the response is good, I will make the utmost effort to provide you with as much as I can.
Be forewarned though, these posts are not for those who get offended easily, are afraid of profanity, or prefer their articles stats heavy or G-Rated. Sometimes they will be quite the opposite in fact.
I don’t mean any harm with this new series. So, please, take the following with a grain of salt and be aware of what you’re getting into should you decide to continue scrolling. It’s all parody and in good-natured fun as I attempt to stay relevant amongst the continuous growth of emerging blog writers who continue to be better than me… Ugh!
Therefore, with all that out of the way, I present to you, a brief version of David Staples’ latest IN THE STYLE OF… Louis C.K., enjoy!
The Edmonton Oilers’ Overtime Struggles: A Metaphor for My Entire Life
So, we’re talking about the Edmonton Oilers’ recent struggles in overtime. Apparently, the Oilers suck big time in OT. Their record is two wins and four losses, with two goals for and four goals against. That’s a big difference from the good old days when McDavid and Draisaitl dominated in OT, right? But we can’t say for sure, since we’re dealing with such small sample sizes. It’s like judging your entire sex life based on that one time you got laid in college.
Anyway, I’ve got some ideas to fix the Oilers’ OT game. For one thing, the Oilers need to be more patient with the puck. They’re always trying to force something to happen, like they’re that guy who’s always trying to make a joke at a funeral. You don’t always have to be the center of attention, Oilers. Sometimes, it’s better to retreat and wait for the perfect moment to strike. I know McDavid and Draisaitl are high-skill players, but even they can’t turn nothing into something every time.
Another thing the Oilers need to do is use pick plays, like that time Rantanen used his teammate as a shield to get past Nurse. It’s a legal play, so why not use it? I know the Oilers are all about one-on-one battles, but sometimes you need to work as a team, like when you’re trying to cover up that murder you committed. And while we’re at it, the Oilers need to stop letting the opposition ice the puck. That’s just giving away possession for free. It’s like giving a prostitute money before you even get to see what she looks like.
Now, I know my suggestions might sound like they make sense, but let’s be real here. The Oilers’ problem in OT isn’t their lack of tactics. It’s just bad luck. They’ve only played 28.5 minutes of OT this year. That’s barely enough time to take a dump. And besides, even in their losses, the Oilers haven’t been dominated in OT. They’ve had their chances. So let’s just leave the Oilers alone and focus on more important things, like why your wife doesn’t love you anymore.
