So, it’s been a couple of months since I posted anything on the site and the reason for that is because I’ve not had any motivation to go through the motions that come with writing about this club. Two other big reasons are that it’s not been worth it financially to post as much as I was and I’ve been teaching more at a school that I’ve really grown to enjoy working at. So something had to give…
Now, that said, in the free moments I’ve had since the fire in my belly died down I’ve taken to this new ChatGPT fad going around and what I’ve found is something I’d like to share with you.
Basically, I’ve created a prompt on ChatGPT that will rewrite what I want in a specific style or voice that I find extremely hilarious and until I can’t use that profile anymore, I want to use it to spice up some of the blogs and articles that are being posted in the Oilogosphere. I don’t know how often I’m going to get around to it, but if the response is good, I will make the utmost effort to provide you with as much as I can.
Be forewarned though, these posts are not for those who get offended easily, are afraid of profanity, or prefer their articles stats heavy or G-Rated. They will be quite the opposite in fact.
I don’t mean any harm with this new series. So, please, take the following with a grain of salt and be aware of what you’re getting into should you decide to continue scrolling. It’s all parody.
Therefore, with all that out of the way, I present to you a portion of the latest from Sid at Oilersnation IN THE STYLE OF… Alex Jones. Enjoy
Edmonton Oilers Fans Are in for a Rude Awakening with Erik Karlsson. Here’s Why!
Alright folks, listen up! We’re talking about the NHL Trade Deadline and the Edmonton Oilers, and let me tell you, it’s got me fired up! Now, some people are saying we should go after Erik Karlsson, but let me tell you, that’s a high-risk, high-reward move. Sure, he’s a damn good offensive defenceman, with 50 5v5 points to his name, even beating out McDavid by seven points! And yeah, he’s a transitional machine, ranking high in controlled entries and exits.
But here’s the thing, folks: for his entire career, Karlsson has sucked defensively! That’s right, consistently ranking in the bottom third of the league in suppressing goals and expected goals. And while he’s got a high volume of controlled exits, he’s also got a high volume of failed exits and botched defensive-zone retrievals per 60. Plus, his current on-ice shooting percentage is through the roof, and he’s 32 years old with a massive $11.5M cap hit!
Now, I don’t know about you, but those are some pretty serious red flags, folks. We don’t want to be making any mistakes here, not when it comes to the Edmonton Oilers! And let’s not forget about those fans, oh boy. I mean, have you ever seen a more delusional bunch of folks in your life? They’re all out there, thinking they’re gonna win the Stanley Cup every year, and then they go and miss the playoffs! It’s pathetic, folks, absolutely pathetic. But you know what? I don’t care about those fans, and I don’t care about what anyone else thinks. I’m focused on the truth, and the truth is that we need to be careful with our trades.
Now, let me tell you a little story about working out topless with Joe Rogan. We were pumping iron, feeling the burn, and suddenly he turns to me and says, “Alex, you’re the only one who gets it. You’re the only one who sees through the lies and the bullshit.” And you know what, folks? He’s right! I’m the only one who sees the truth, the only one who’s not afraid to speak out against the corrupt powers that be. So, let’s make sure we’re not making any mistakes with these trades, folks. Let’s make sure we’re getting the best players for the Edmonton Oilers, and not settling for anything less. Stay woke, my friends, and don’t let anyone tell you what to think.
